My darling boy
This is probably the hardest post to make. I’ve been absent for a long time on the site, but I have been enjoying life with my boy. People on this site were so very supportive of us when Gandalf lost his leg, and I truly appreciate each and every person who made the effort to give me advice and assistance. But now I have to write…
Gandalf the Brave passed away on 31/12/13, New Years Eve. He was with me, his dad John, and his best friend Winnie, as well as the most caring vet and nurse.
Last year, in late November, I almost ran over a dog. She happily came with me, this unmarked, no-microchip pup. Noone claimed her. Gandalf loved her, played with her. So she stayed. Winifred Lilliput Ratabago Castleton (aka Winnie, long name for a little lost dog) gave Gandalf a boost in attitude and company.
However. For the past while, I have noticed that Gandalf was walking slightly differently, but he was not showing signs of pain, and was enjoying swimming as usual. It was just a feeling.
On Sunday (29th Dec), he went swimming and had a lovely time. He came home and threw up his breakfast. He wasn’t unhappy, but just in case I gave him some pain relief, thinking perhaps he was in pain. He refused dinner. We were away from home, and we decided to go home–about a 2 day trip. He didn’t want his breakfast in the morning, so we went to the local vet, who thought he was ok. He was drinking water.
I thought he was going down. Very flat. He was ok in the car (he loves the car), but didn’t want to walk about much. Still drinking water.
Tuesday morning (31st) we stopped and went to a local vet who gave him pain relief. I had spoken to my vet, who thought it sounded like a pancreatitis.
My wonderful vets stayed open for me, and by the time we got there, there was obvious fluid in Gandalf’s abdomen. We did an ultrasound of his abdomen and found he had tumours on his spleen and something else lower down. The vet took a sample of the fluid, and found that it contained mainly cancer cells. I was with him the whole time.
I then had to make a choice. The advice was that the presence of the cells suggested a tumour in the intestines. Major surgery would be required, he would have to have his spleen removed, and the outcomes for removing parts of intestines is not good.
It was suggested that exploratory surgery could be tried, and if what was found was bad, then we could let him go while he was under anaesthetic.
The positive could have been that he could have surgery and survive. However, given the presence of the cells, the vet said that he was 95% certain that the outcome would not be good. In his experience, just focussing on the spleen tumours, 4/5 are malignant.
In any event,even in the very best case scenario, Gandalf would have to recover from major surgery, and probably not a very long time. I couldn’t do that to Gandalf. His front paws have been sore, and I know he has been getting slower.
I decided to let him go. He looked up at me, and I reassured him.
I love my boy more than I can express. He has been the most loyal and wonderful companion. I have been so lucky and priviledged to have been able to look after him. There is nothing I would not have done for him.
I never had the privilege of getting to know you and Gandolf, as I had just begun this journey this past February with my girl Brendol. I lost her in August. I am very sorry about your dear Gandolf. It sounds as though you were a wonderful guardian for him and gave him the best care and love possible. My thoughts are with you and your family.
Karma, Adelaide and the crew, and our forever angel Brendol
Although I wasn’t on the site when you and Gandalf joined, but I just finished reading your posts.
Oh, the bond you two have is incredible and can NEVER be broken! What a delightful’ brave boy ndeed! You two clearly share one heart and are united on so many levels.
He was your “hearng” dog……it doesn’t get any more connected than that. Nice, so very nice.
And when he needed you to “listen” to him, you were there. Spleen, intesti es…no…he would not want to go through all those painful surgeries and, if he sjrvived, not to be able to be Gandalf.
IF it had to happen, this is the way he wanted it…..living life to the fullest…getting in a great swim…surrounded by love.
You are his best friend, his best advocate, his true soulmate and he loved every blkssful second he shared on this earth with you.
I loved the story aout his favorite thong/flip flop…..”lost is found”.
Just as Gandalf took a piece of your heart with him, he left a piece of hs heart with you. He’s with you, safely nestled in a corner of your heart. “LOST IS FOUND”
I’m glad he “sent” Winnie to you. Clearly they both had a connection and a “knowing” that this “lost” dog was meant to be “found” by you. “lost is found’
Your heart is breakng right now. Gandalf knows you will be sad, but he also wants you to immerse yourself in all the WO DERFUL memories you two made together.
That sweet boy had THE best ti e with you! And know as he’ getting ready to go on his next swim, his tail is wagging and he has his favorite flip flop in his mouth…..”Thanks Mom, I had a great time!” And he still is, in doggy heaven the water is the perfect temperature for swims every day…even twice a day!!
Thak you for allowing me the privilege of getting to know Gandalf and the unbreakable bond you two share.
Surrounding you with Gandalf’s eternal grace and joyful spirit,
Sally and Happy Hannah
(And his avatar picture you painted is just splended! I love the photo with him sittng next to the portrait you painted of his favorite Grandma too. You are very talented”)
How blessed you were.. and Gandalf was… to be together when you let the leash go for the last time! The passing of our furbabies is such a hard post to type.. and many of us have done it.. I myself included.
It’s hard.. and it hurts…. big time.
What Cancer Cannot Do.
Cancer is so limited
It cannot cripple love
It cannot shatter hope
It cannot corrode faith
It cannot destroy peace
It cannot kill friendship
It cannot suppress memories
It cannot silence courage
It cannot invade the soul
It cannot steal eternal life
It cannot conquer the spirit.
and most of all.. it cannot, will not, ever remove Gandalf from your heart.. he owns that part.!! And you can feel him.. just close your eyes and open your heart… he’s there… always will be…
Christine…. with Franklin in her heart♥
I am so so sorry to hear of Gandalf’s passing. Run free little boy. I know he is joined on the Bridge by many Warriors & Princess Warriors. Run Free
Hugs
Michelle & Angel Sassy
We are so very sorry for your loss. Please accept our most sincere condolences. Thank you for checking in.
May Gandolf run free of pain and rest in peace at the Rainbow Bridge.
Ohhh my heart breaks for you, I am so, so sorry. Please know that you did right by your boy, you honored his life and his spirit and his need to leave this world with dignity and honor. As difficult and tragic as this was, you did a noble and compassionate last act for your very magical boy.
I remember when you joined us, it was so long ago. We never get enough time with our beloved animals but I’m glad to know that you had a good, pain-free and beautiful year together. May those memories sustain you as you cope with your grief.
You are always welcome to come here and share more of his life. We are here for you.
Oh, and I have got to think that Winnie’s timing was an incredible gift from the great Doggie Spirit in the Sky who wanted to make sure that you were not alone when Gandalf earned his angel wings. I’m so glad you found eachother.
Many, many condolences coming your way. xoxo
His end came so quick. But it came with love, peace, and respect. You did right by him, every day of every moment. What a DEARLY loved, adored pup. We miss him every day, but I know you and your pack miss him more. HUGS.
~ Katy & Jackson
You set him free. Love and prayers for you and your family. We truly share your grief.
I am so sorry for your loss of your handsome Gandalf. May happy memories of him remain with you always.
Hugs – you did your absolute best for your boy, but it doesn’t make it any easier when we have to let them go.